


Camille/Camomille

by FaerieTales4ever



Category: Wicked - All Media Types, Wicked - Schwartz/Holzman
Genre: F/M, Funny, Gelphie friendship, Humor, fiyeraba
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-09
Updated: 2015-07-09
Packaged: 2018-04-08 12:37:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,809
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4305366
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FaerieTales4ever/pseuds/FaerieTales4ever
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>A/N: So um, I wrote a thing. It's short and kinda random and silly, but I had fun writing it, so I hope you have fun reading it. It was inspired by a video I saw of a teacup pig on tumblr.</p><p>Disclaimer: Nope, nothing is mine, nothing is for profit.</p>
    </blockquote>





	Camille/Camomille

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: So um, I wrote a thing. It's short and kinda random and silly, but I had fun writing it, so I hope you have fun reading it. It was inspired by a video I saw of a teacup pig on tumblr.
> 
> Disclaimer: Nope, nothing is mine, nothing is for profit.

 

**Camille/Camomille**

Elphaba grunted under the weight of her tote that was slung over her right shoulder. Even as much as she enjoyed reading, it was days like today when she couldn't help but wonder why Shiz insisted on making their textbooks so Ozdamn heavy. She pushed open the door of the Life and Sciences building and traipsed across the assault, her emerald skin glistening under the scorching sun.

When she finally reached her car, she threw her bag into the passenger seat and cranked the air conditioning to full blast. She yanked the cap off her water bottle and gulped half of its contents in one swallow. Not for the first time since spring had come to Shiz that year, she cursed the universe for making  _black_ the only color in Oz that looked somewhat decent with her unconventional complexion. Even in a tank-top and capris, she was dying in this heat.

She gave herself a few minutes to cool down and then leaned forward to turn the key in the ignition. Before she could shift the gears into reverse however, her phone vibrated.

Elphaba sighed and pulled her backpack into her lap. She shifted through the items one by one until her hand finally closed around the small device. She checked the caller ID and cringed.

It was Galinda. Her roommate calling in the middle of the day could only mean one of two things: a horrible disaster had just occurred, or the biggest news ever to infiltrate the grounds of Shiz University had just exploded on campus. Elphaba's lips twitched as she hit the 'Accept Call' button, wondering which it would be today.

"Hey Glin, whats up?"

" _Elphaba..."_ her friend scolded. The note of exasperation in her voice completely befuddled the green girl.

"Galinda..." she mimicked, stifling a laugh and attempting to lighten the mood.

"Why is Camille in my closet?"

 _What?_ the witch thought. Who was Camille? "...Huh?"

""Hey, get that out of your mouth, you-"

"What? Glin, what's going on?"

Galinda huffed and rolled her eyes. "She's  _eating_  my dresses, Elphie! Those were designer!

 _Excuse me?_ What was Galinda talking about? Was it really so hot out that the sun was making her hallucinate? "Everything you own is designer, Glin," she snickered. "And why is one of your friends  _eating_  your clothing, anyway? Did you have another mishap with magic again? Or have you just spent a little too much time sunbathing today?"

"Ha ha very funny," she deadpanned. "Hey, get away from there! Ugh! Seriously, Elphie, I know you love Animals, but must you rescue every stray you see? We are only renting this apartment for this semester, you know. We have to keep it somewhat presentable."

"What?" the sorceress sputtered. "Galinda, I didn't bring home any strays today."

"Oh, really? Then why did I find this little one snuggled up in my best robe?"

Elphaba's phone pinged and she moved it away from her ear, astounded to find a very small, very  _pink_ animal staring up at her from the screen. It's body was dotted with gray patches and it's ears had flopped down. It lay with it's head propped comfortably atop it's crossed hooves. It had curled itself up in a perfect ball atop Galinda's favorite fluffy bath robe and stared up at her with big, tired eyes.

"Awww!" she cooed. "It's so cute! Where did it come from?"

" _Elphaba,"_ her roommate whined. "A  _pig_ destroying my closet is  _not_  cute! And how should I know where she came from? I didn't rescue her!"

"Well, she's not mine. Much as I might want her to be. How do you know she's a girl, anyway?"

"Well, she's sitting in  _my_ dresses, so… Wait, did you say she's  _not_ yours?"

"No. I'm pretty sure I would've remembered if I brought a pig home, Galinda."

Galinda pouted and nibbled her lip between her teeth. "Well, if she's not yours and she's not mine then who..." She gasped and Elphaba clapped her hand to her forehead as realization dawned.

"Fiyero!" They chorused together.

"Oh, he is so dead!" the blonde fumed. The witch chuckled.

"I'll deal with him, Glin, you just keep her out of my stuff until I get home.

Galinda planted her free hand on her hip, scanning her disheveled closet with a scowl. The piglet was currently going to town on her collection of cashmere sweaters Momsie had given her last Christmas, but she had long ceased trying to stop her. That thing was relentless! "But-"

"No buts. I'll be there in fifteen minutes."

"Oh, fine!" her roommate relented. "But tell your boyfriend he owes me a new wardrobe!"

Elphaba laughed and shook her head. "Whatever you say, Glin. See you soon."

"Okay, bye, Elphie. And hurry!

"Trust me, I will." She ended the call and immediately hit number one on her keypad, dialing the mischievous prince. "A pig?" she muttered under her breath as she tapped her foot on the floor of the car and waited for him to pick up. "Seriously, Yero? What were you thinking?" Sometimes, she really wondered about that boy's mental sanity.

"Hello?" the Vinkun's deep voice echoed on the other line.

"Fiyero Liir Tiggular, what did you do?" Elphaba scolded, barely giving him time to greet her.

"Oh, hi, Fae."

The green girl narrowed her eyes at the receiver. "Don't you 'Hi Fae' me! I'm on my way home right now and boy do you have some explaining to do."

Her boyfriend gulped Oh, crap. She sounded mad. Okay, maybe not  _mad_ , but definitely annoyed. The prince racked his brain. What had he done that day that could've annoyed her? Did he not leave any hot water for the girls this morning? Was the toilet seat still up? Did he forget to do the dishes? For the life of him, he couldn't figure to out. Finally, he just had to ask. "Okay, I give up. What'd I do?"

His girlfriend groaned and ran a hand down her face Was her boyfriend really that dense? "Fiyero…" Her phone beeped and she accepted, conferencing Galinda in on the call. "Hey, Glin, what did she destroy now?"

"Nothing…. yet. I just couldn't resist chewing out the big buffoon myself. I didn't want to wait 'til he got back from practice."

"Galinda?" Fiyero asked, clearly surprised.

"Fifi."

"Hey. Uh… What's up?"

"Hmm, lemme think. Care to explain why there's a certain onking animal in my closet that seems to have developed an odd taste designed for cashmere?"

Fiyero grimaced.  _Now_  it made sense. "Oh...That."

"Yes," Elphaba droned. "That. A gilt, Fiyero, really?

"She's a not a gilt," Fiyero defended immediately. "She's a piglet! And a teacup one at that."

Elphaba sighed and shook her head, glancing over her shoulder before slowly starting out of the parking lot. "Yes, I've gathered that. But what is she doing in the house?"

Fiyero shrugged. "I found her. She was cold and shivering and all by herself. I couldn't just leave her out there alone." The girls sighed and he smirked. He knew they wouldn't be able to resist that explanation. Consequently, they both had a weakness for small, cuddly, helpless animals and when he found Camille in the woods, he knew he could use that to his advantage. "Besides," he added, laying it on a little thinker, "she was so cute!"

The line went eerily silent, and for a moment, Fiyero wondered if he'd gone too far. "Guys?" he asked. Still nothing. Crap. Were they plotting to kick him out of the house or something? He laughed uneasily. "I mean, she  _is_ cute… Right?"

To his relief, Galinda was the first to break the silence. She had kneeled down on the floor to try and entice the piglet away from her expansive shoe collection with a few bits of apple. Camille, as she has been christened, had sniffed the air and eagerly gobbled the slices, and was now resting her head contentedly in the blonde's lap as she stroked her ears. "Fine, you win,"she grumbled.

Fiyero exhaled and pumped his fist.  _Yes!_

"She's pretty adorable. But why did you have to put her in  _my_ closet?"

"And how did Galinda know her name anyway? Can she talk?"

"Because it's warm in there!" the prince explained, answering Galinda first. "And I didn't have a lot of time, OK? I had to get to class."

Elphaba arched a brow as she turned the corner. " _You_  were actually concerned about being on time to a class?"

"Funny, Fae."

The green girl smirked. "I thought so."

"And no, she can't talk yet. I'm pretty sure she's just an animal, anyway. I put a note on a string around her neck. Kind of a collar, I guess. I named her after that tea, you know, 'cause she's a teacup pig."

Both of the girl's dissolved into laughter at his statement. Fiyero pouted on the other line.

"What? I liked that name!"

"Fi- Fiyero!" Galinda chided between giggles. "That's  _Camomile_ tea, not  _Camille_!" She laughed harder and the prince's cheeks flamed.

"Oh. Well, I like Camille better."

"Me, too." His girlfriend smiled and bit the insides of her cheeks to keep from snickering again. "It's cuter."

"It is," the blonde agreed. So… what do we do now?"

"Can we keep her?" Fiyero asked a little too brightly

"No!" The girl's scolded. His shoulders slumped.

"But Fa-ae," he pleaded, trying once more to appeal to his girlfriend's soft side. "Why not?"

Elphaba sighed as she pulled into their complex parking lot and cut off the engine. "Look, Yero, she seems really cute-"

"Oh, she is," Galinda cut in.

"But a city apartment is no place for a piglet."

"She's right, Fifi," their roommate concurred, letting another giggle slip as Camille nuzzled her snout into her palm. "We can't keep her."

"Oh.  _alright_ ," Fiyero surrendered. "So what do we do?"

"I'm out in the parking lot," Elphaba said, climbing out of her car. "Let me get upstairs and then I'll see if I can't take her down to the shelter when I go to work tonight."

"Oh, can we come to, Elphie?"

"Sure, Glin, as long as you don't try and talk me into buying every animal we pass."

"Awww!" The blonde pouted.

"One of these days, Fae, we're going to get that dog," Fiyero warned with a chuckle.

The witch simply rolled her eyes. "Let's worry about that  _after_ we get through school, okay?"

Fiyero laughed. "Whatever you say, Fae."

Elphaba's lips twitched at the note of mischief in his voice. I'll see you later, Yero. Glin, I'm on my way up."

"Okay, Elphie, see you soon."

"See you. Oh, and Yero?

"Yeah?"

"Galinda says you owe her a new wardrobe." With that, Elphaba smirked and snapped her phone shut, not even giving him a chance to protest.


End file.
